The obvious way is phone sex. Lots of people find talking dirty embarrassing face-to-face but can handle it via the phone because they can’t be seen. But if you’re really shy, why don’t you turn each other on via instant messaging? Writing something is even less traumatic than saying it! Simply start by saying how much you miss having sex with each other, then elaborate on which particular things you’re missing most (‘I wish you were kissing my breasts right now’). Throw in a few ‘I’m touching myself’ type sentences and you’re well on your way to happy endings.
Keep it hot during your holidays apart
If you like doing this, you can email or text each other sexy pictures - though a heavy warning goes with this one, only EVER do this with a partner you’ve been with for a very long time, who you trust implicitly and who’ll delete the images once you’ve finished your sexy session. Yes it’s tempting to keep them to look at later but only ever do this if absolutely no-one has access to your phone or computer. So a bit of phone or instant messaging sex with some visual stimulation thrown in - that should keep you going while you’re away. So a bit of advice for when you finally do get together.
All this sexy long-distance foreplay is going to result in lots of sex when you both get home. Prevent yourselves getting sore by using lots of lubricant and showering soon after sex so your parts don’t get irritated from any fluids. Continually switch between different types of sexual stimulation so you don’t continually chafe one particular area and break long bouts of intercourse with lots of oral sex. Tongues are marvelously gentle and soothing!
Don't miss out on any fun!
All this sexy long-distance foreplay is going to result in lots of sex when you both get home. Prevent yourselves getting sore by using lots of lubricant and showering soon after sex so your parts don’t get irritated from any fluids. Continually switch between different types of sexual stimulation so you don’t continually chafe one particular area and break long bouts of intercourse with lots of oral sex. Tongues are marvelously gentle and soothing!
Don't miss out on any fun!
- *Read the rest of Tracey's columns
- *Watch Tracey's Love Bytes videos
- *Try our new Perfect Position Selector tool!
Pretty twinkling lights, catching up with old friends, the smell of Christmas trees filling the air - Christmas is a lovely time of the year. But along with the nice stuff comes stress - with a capital S. Too much food, too much to drink, being forced to spend time with each other’s families, who you maybe don’t get on with too well - it’s no wonder even the happiest couples argue.
Want this Christmas to be different - a time for great sex as well as good cheer? Here’s what to do:
How to have hot sex during the holidays
Don't miss out on the fun!
Want this Christmas to be different - a time for great sex as well as good cheer? Here’s what to do:
- Avoid arguments over alcohol by setting limits - or setting each other free on the odd occasion. Come on, you know he’s going to be horribly sloshed after his office Christmas party. So don’t insist on him being home at a certain time - or even staying with you that night if you don’t live together. Let him enjoy himself without pressure as an extra present from you - and get him to do the same.
- For events where you’ll be together, agree beforehand on how many drinks is acceptable for both of you or have a signal when you see your partner tipping over the edge. A good reason to resist drinking too much: If you’re planning on having sex when you get home, too many drinks makes it almost impossible for either of you to orgasm because it desensitises everything.
- Handle the family situation by compromising. If you don’t get on with his family, make an appearance for a little while, then return to your family after a few hours. People understand family pressures, so it’s not rude to say your own family expect you back. Forced to spend all of Christmas there? Both discreetly disappear and have secret snogs - or more - in the loo while everyone else is preoccupied. Sharing a naughty secret makes everything more bearable - and the time go much faster!
- Another way to spice things up is to fill his Christmas stocking with sexy stocking fillers rather than the usual socks or chocs! There are lots of little gifts that don’t cost much but are infinitely more exciting! Try a vibrating penis ring (around $10) to turn him into a human vibrator. Orgasm enhancing creams (around $20) are also fun: most contain l-arginine that increases the blood flow to the clitoris, upping sensation simultaneously. Fingertip micro vibrators (around $10) are designed to give pulsating pleasure, anytime, anywhere and also throw in a pocket-size sex book (around $12) or raunchy card or board game.
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We’ve all been there: woken up the day after the party and felt the horror wash over us. And the hangover kick in. If what you did wasn’t that serious, wait until the hangover has passed for a start. The next day, things often seem much worse than they actually were. Plus the person you need to apologise probably has a hangover too, so they’ll be grumpy as well. If you can possibly do it, wait a day.
Damage control after the office party
If you think you’ve done something which needs fixing immediately – like insulted the boss or your best friend – call the second you can form a coherent sentence. Say ‘I can’t even think straight yet but I know I was in the wrong and I know I would be desperately gutted if I lost my job/lost you as a friend. Can we meet up tomorrow and talk about it.’ Even if they’re huffy, you’ve said I’m sorry and that counts for so much. Acknowledge respect – make it clear even though you behaved badly, it wasn’t out of disrespect just stupidness. ‘I can’t believe I got so drunk when I value your opinion of me so much’ etc.
If you had an argument but it seriously wasn’t your fault, say ‘we’ instead of ‘I’. Say ‘I hate the fact we had a fight. How can WE make sure it doesn’t happen again’.
You’re tempted to leave it alone rather than confront the situation head on? This depends on the personality of the person, as well as your own and how damaging the situation was. If they’re easy going and liable to forget about it over time, maybe you’re right to let it be. But if they’re quite intense and emotional, confront them because otherwise they’ll fixate on it and make it bigger than it was. It also depends on who it was. Upsetting an acquaintance is one thing, upsetting your boss or your best workmate quite another.
Don't miss out on any fun!
If you had an argument but it seriously wasn’t your fault, say ‘we’ instead of ‘I’. Say ‘I hate the fact we had a fight. How can WE make sure it doesn’t happen again’.
You’re tempted to leave it alone rather than confront the situation head on? This depends on the personality of the person, as well as your own and how damaging the situation was. If they’re easy going and liable to forget about it over time, maybe you’re right to let it be. But if they’re quite intense and emotional, confront them because otherwise they’ll fixate on it and make it bigger than it was. It also depends on who it was. Upsetting an acquaintance is one thing, upsetting your boss or your best workmate quite another.
Don't miss out on any fun!
- *Read the rest of Tracey's columns
- *Watch Tracey's Love Bytes videos
- *Try our new Perfect Position Selector tool!
If you’ve fancied a colleague for ages but never had the guts to chat them up, the office Christmas party seems like the ideal time to let them know you’re free, willing and able. And assuming you’re not planning on launching into a dramatic ‘I’ve dreamt of you and I getting married every night for the last year’, you could be right. But there’s a more subtle way to do it than simply drunkenly draping yourself all over them after six gin and tonics.
Start by putting some feelers out before the party. But be warned: if you ask someone else in their office, straight out, if they think the person you fancy fancies you back, don’t kid yourself. The person in question will be told you’ve been asking – along with everyone else in the office – which means the entire office will be trained on the two of you at the party. If they haven’t already put bets on what will happen, believe me, they will be by their third drink. Instead, lay the groundwork with the person themselves. Simply ask them if they’re going and say, ‘Great. I’m really looking forward to being able to have a chat outside work.’. That’s all you need to say. If they’re interested, they’ll take that a green light. If they’re not, you haven’t completely embarrassed yourself because you could have been just being friendly.
When you arrive at the party, catch their eye and smile at them. Do they smile back? Did they see you look at them? Do this a couple of times and if they’ve smiled back and keep looking back to meet your eyes, it’s a pretty good bet they’re keen for you to approach them.
Find an excuse to walk past. Do they look like they need a drink top up? Do they look bored stupid with the person they’re talking to? Are they laughing a lot? Find some reason to walk their way and then stop and make a comment. ‘So what’s so funny then?’ – ‘You look like you need a top up. I’m just going to get another drink, you want one?’ The trick is to make a comment which doesn’t sound like you’re going to hang around forever. I’m going to the bar and just passing/I want to be let in on the joke, not interrupt your entire conversation.
Have your little chat then leave. Don’t go far, just move away to see what happens then. Do they try to stop you leaving? Do they continue to look over and smile and make eye contact? Do they turn their back and lean down to whisper something to their friend, which is quite obviously ‘Thank God they’ve gone’. If they look slightly put out you’ve left, leave it five minutes or so then go back again - or, which is the best result of all, let them come to you!
Flirting at the office holiday party
Don't miss out on any fun!
Start by putting some feelers out before the party. But be warned: if you ask someone else in their office, straight out, if they think the person you fancy fancies you back, don’t kid yourself. The person in question will be told you’ve been asking – along with everyone else in the office – which means the entire office will be trained on the two of you at the party. If they haven’t already put bets on what will happen, believe me, they will be by their third drink. Instead, lay the groundwork with the person themselves. Simply ask them if they’re going and say, ‘Great. I’m really looking forward to being able to have a chat outside work.’. That’s all you need to say. If they’re interested, they’ll take that a green light. If they’re not, you haven’t completely embarrassed yourself because you could have been just being friendly.
When you arrive at the party, catch their eye and smile at them. Do they smile back? Did they see you look at them? Do this a couple of times and if they’ve smiled back and keep looking back to meet your eyes, it’s a pretty good bet they’re keen for you to approach them.
Find an excuse to walk past. Do they look like they need a drink top up? Do they look bored stupid with the person they’re talking to? Are they laughing a lot? Find some reason to walk their way and then stop and make a comment. ‘So what’s so funny then?’ – ‘You look like you need a top up. I’m just going to get another drink, you want one?’ The trick is to make a comment which doesn’t sound like you’re going to hang around forever. I’m going to the bar and just passing/I want to be let in on the joke, not interrupt your entire conversation.
Have your little chat then leave. Don’t go far, just move away to see what happens then. Do they try to stop you leaving? Do they continue to look over and smile and make eye contact? Do they turn their back and lean down to whisper something to their friend, which is quite obviously ‘Thank God they’ve gone’. If they look slightly put out you’ve left, leave it five minutes or so then go back again - or, which is the best result of all, let them come to you!
- *Read the rest of Tracey's columns
- *Watch Tracey's Love Bytes videos
- *Try our new Perfect Position Selector tool!
We attach a great deal of significance to presents - not necessarily because of how much they cost but the thought that’s gone into them. Presents tell us whether someone has ‘got’ us - really understood our true, core personality, our dreams - and our dislikes.
What do his gifts really mean?
So what did your gift mean?
Don't miss out on any fun!
- ‘Smelly’ presents - like perfume or scented candles and body lotions - mean he likes you, but is either unadventurous, nervous about choosing for you - or (sorry) couldn’t really be bothered putting that much thought into it.
- Lingerie usually means he’s very into you sexually. If it’s beautiful he wanted to spoil you - or encourage you to dress up for him. If it’s tacky, he wants more sex - and more adventurous sex.
- Any type of jewelry is usually a pretty good sign - especially if it’s from a ‘romantic’ reputable store like Tiffany’s. Any type of ring is significant for obvious reasons - he’ll only go there if he intends sticking around (though sometimes a pretty non-engagement ring can mean ‘Look I’m committed but don’t’ rush me!).
- 'Together’ presents like a cookery course for two or tickets to an event is a great sign - especially if it’s for something which doesn’t happen for a little while. That says ‘I’m confident we’re staying together’.
- Then, of course, there’s the card which goes with the present. Now, don’t be too critical here. Women are generally better at words and expressing themselves. He might only have written ‘Happy Christmas. Thanks for being in my life.’ But he probably took about three hours coming up with it.
Don't miss out on any fun!
- *Read the rest of Tracey's columns
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- *Try our new Perfect Position Selector tool!
